Midlife identity shifts
So, something has happened and you are in the middle of a midlife transition.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
Much of the time, this also means your identity is shifting.
It's not always pleasant (aging, illness, death, layoff, divorce, etc), but sometimes it is (empty nesting, retirement, choosing to go into a new field or excited about retirement, etc.) But even if you chose the change, it can still be quite uncomfortable - it's a time of re-evaluation in your life!
One thing to remember during this process is the more we resist change, the more we suffer.
The more we accept change and release resistance, the easier it is to move forward.
So, how can we release resistance to life transformations and thus identity shifts?
One way is by embracing the shift as a chance to develop a meaningful sense of identity and purpose. Taking the time to discover who you are now, and who you want to be during and after the shift.
One example of this is a friend of mine. During the pandemic her business shut down entirely - her whole industry did. After many months of no revenue, she realized it was time for her to pivot. She did not want to go back to working for someone else after having her own business, so she started looking around for things she enjoyed and could do to make money. Today she has created a solid business working with animals - which was completely different than what she had been doing - and is healthier and happy with the change (with cuter furry coworkers 🙂)
It took her a while to assess the situation, mourn what had been, realize that deep changes needed to be made, research and commit to trying something completely new. After she took action on it and realized it could be possible, she was able to step fully into her new identity.
Assess (the situation)
Grieve
Accept
Explore possibilities
Commit (make a decision)
Take action
Own it
Much like any process, sometimes you'll skip steps, go back to the beginning and bounce around a bit before owning your new identity.
There are so many benefits to growth, change and shifting identity. Whether by choice or not, we all undergo changes in our lives - sometimes with consequences. Acceptance and moving forward will help make the process smoother. You may go back to square one on occasion and if so, lather, rinse and repeat.
Some of our greatest lessons and growth happens in the most uncomfortable spaces in life. Embrace them as best you can, and keep moving towards the life that you desire.
