Why pushing harder isn’t always the answer

Lately, I’ve been hearing the same basic refrain from people over and over:

“I feel stuck. I’m doing everything I can, but nothing is working.”

Maybe you’ve felt this way, too. You’re doing everything "right"—applying to jobs, networking, staying proactive—yet progress feels just out of reach. The job market is unusually bad, layoffs are happening left and right, and toxic workplaces are draining every ounce of energy. It’s exhausting. Frustrating. Anxiety inducing. Maybe even a little hopeless sometimes?

If you’re nodding along, know that you’re not alone.

Some people in this position are using the time to explore new possibilities: pivoting to a different industry, starting a side business, diving into volunteer work, or rediscovering creative passions. Others feel completely overwhelmed, their minds spinning in an endless loop of what do i do next and why didn’t that work. And for some, the frustration leads to withdrawal—numbing out, escaping into distractions, or sinking deeper into unhealthy coping mechanisms.

When life feels stuck, our instinct is often to push harder. More job applications. More late nights. More doing. More cocktails to ease the pain and confusion. But sometimes, pushing harder only digs the hole deeper.

So what’s the alternative? How do you find peace and momentum without grinding yourself into exhaustion and anxiety?

The answer lies in where you place your energy. Here’s how to create space for clarity, movement, and a renewed sense of control—even when the world feels chaotic.

Choose where you place your attention

Your mind is like a sponge, it absorbs whatever you feed it.

If you’re consuming an endless cycle of bad news, doom-scrolling, or in conversations that just feel bad, it’s no wonder everything feels overwhelming. The more you focus on what’s wrong, the harder it becomes to see what’s possible.

Take a moment and audit your inputs:

• What are you watching, reading, and listening to daily?

• Are your conversations solution-focused or problem-centered?

• Are you giving more energy to fear or to possibilities?

In the immortal words of Kendrick Lamar, "Turn the TV off!"

This doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means being intentional about how much and what you take in and ensuring you balance it with inputs that empower, inspire, and give perspective.

Try replacing some of your news intake with books, podcasts, or conversations that encourage forward movement. Your energy follows your attention -choose wisely.

Get grounded in the present

When life feels uncertain, anxiety thrives. Our minds jump to worst-case scenarios, creating stress over things that haven’t even happened yet.

Grounding techniques can pull you out of the spiral and bring you back to now—the only moment you actually have control over.

Simple ways to ground yourself:

• Step outside. Nature has a powerful way of calming our nervous system.

• Walk barefoot on grass or sand. (Yes, really—it’s called "earthing" and has been shown to reduce stress!)

• Take three slow, deep breaths, paying attention to each inhale and exhale.

• Hold something tangible—a cup of tea, a textured object—and focus on how it feels.

• Get a pillow, place it over your stomach/abdomen while sitting up, and cradle it gently while stroking it. This gives an immediate calming sensation.

Grounding yourself isn’t about ignoring reality. It’s about reminding your mind and body that this moment is safe, and you don’t have to solve everything at once.

Move your body, quiet your mind

Stress and stagnation don’t just live in your thoughts—they settle into your body, too. That’s why movement is essential when you feel stuck.

You don’t need an intense workout to shift your energy. Any form of movement can help:

• A short walk around the block.

• Stretching for five minutes.

• Dancing to your favorite song.

• Doing a few yoga poses.

• Shaking it out! Here’s a good YouTube video to show you how: https://youtu.be/ySJT7EBMDH4?si=RKbLac7rLblv3_u

Pairing movement with mindfulness, like a short meditation, can be even more powerful. Even a minute of deep breathing or guided meditation can create space for clarity and calm.

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s awareness that these practices exist and can help. Do what feels good. Small movements lead to bigger shifts.

Surround yourself with community

When you’re struggling, who you spend time with matters.

Some people fuel anxiety, reinforcing fear and hopelessness. Others lift you up, remind you of your strengths, and help you see new perspectives. Which kind of people are you spending time with?

If you’re feeling drained after conversations, it may be time to set some boundaries. On the flip side, intentionally seek out people who inspire, support, and energize you.

Not sure where to find them?

• Join a supportive community or networking group.

• Schedule a call with a friend who sees the best in you.

• Engage with people who are taking action, not just talking about problems.

Energy is contagious. Surround yourself with the energy you want more of.

Find ways to contribute

One of the fastest ways to shift out of feeling stuck is to focus outward.

Helping others—whether through volunteering, mentoring, or even small acts of kindness—reminds you that you do have an impact, even when things feel uncertain.

Why this works:

• It shifts your perspective from what’s lacking to what you can give.

• It reinforces your sense of value and purpose.

• It connects you with others in meaningful ways.

If you’re feeling lost in your own situation, ask: How can I help someone else today? The answer might be as simple as offering support, sharing knowledge, or doing something thoughtful for a friend.

Let go of what you can’t control

Here’s a hard truth: Some things are simply outside of your control.

No matter how much effort you put in, you can’t single-handedly change the job market, undo layoffs, or make people behave differently. But you can control your own actions, choices, and mindset.

A simple exercise:

• Write down everything that’s stressing you out.

• Circle what’s actually within your control.

• Focus your energy there.

Trying to control the uncontrollable only leads to frustration. Let go of what you can’t change and redirect that energy into what you can.

Be kind to yourself

This one might be the most important.

It’s easy to be hard on yourself when things aren’t going as planned. You may feel like you should be doing more, achieving faster, or handling stress better. But guess what? You’re human. And you’re doing the best you can.

Self-compassion isn’t about making excuses—it’s about recognizing that growth and change take time.

Give yourself grace.
Acknowledge your efforts.
Celebrate small wins.

Because even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you are moving forward.

The power of small shifts

When everything feels overwhelming, the answer isn’t always to push harder. Sometimes, the answer is to pause, redirect, and shift your energy in a new way.

Even in uncertainty, you are not powerless. The more you focus on what is possible, the more doors will open—sometimes in ways you never expected.

So ask yourself: What’s one small shift you can make today to create more ease and momentum in your life?

Because no matter what’s happening around you, you always have the power to move forward—one baby step at a time.